Home Commentary State of Mind: Which Hand’s Got the Chocolate?

State of Mind: Which Hand’s Got the Chocolate?

Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) did it again. He got into trouble with certain inhabitants of the White House by marching in a protest in Washington along with a group of nearly 1,000 Christians as part of the nationwide (and worldwide) show of support for Black Lives Matter.

This, of course, upset one particular person in the White House. I’m sure that person was concerned he might have to “inspect” the secure bunker yet again because of the protest. According to the New York Times (June 3) he admitted that he had been to the bunker “two, two and a half” times, and had “done different things” to inspect the bunker. He probably had to make sure there was an ample supply of Diet Coke.

But he should have known that Romney was a maverick given to living on the edge and breaking the rules. Just look at Romney’s activities since the first of the year.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “Do you mean Romney was one of the only Republicans to show disloyalty by voting to convict during the impeachment trial, Lare?” No, sort of. Romney only voted to convict on one count, so he was only half disloyal, which I guess is similar to making a half visit to the secure bunker.

This was much worse than a breach of party loyalty. I’m talking about Mitt Romney drinking chocolate milk on the Senate floor during the impeachment trial.

Yes, that’s right. As reported by Eliza Relman of Business Insider, (Jan. 28), Romney had the audacity to sit right there at his desk on the Senate floor and guzzle one of his favorite forms of refreshment—chocolate milk!

According to the report by Relman, Romney’s wife said in 2012 that chocolate milk is one of her husband’s “guilty pleasures.” Why drinking chocolate milk makes him feel guilty was not explained.

The infraction, according to the report, was not that Romney was drinking the milk, it was—and please try to stifle audible gasps of disbelief here—because he was drinking it from the little plastic bottle it came in.

Yes, Romney was in clear violation of the Senate’s impeachment trial rules, which clearly stated that senators may only drink water (still or sparkling) or milk (note that the kind of milk is not specified) from a GLASS! The attention to detail to which the Senate goes to ensure a fair trial is truly amazing. Glasses, not bottles.

According to Relman, a Senate aide pointed out the infraction to Romney, and he left the chamber and returned with a glass, which he held up for inspection.
Romney wasn’t the only senator to have violated the rules, but he has a high profile because he ran for president, so reporters follow him closely. After all, we just can’t have former presidential candidates running around breaking the rules—they have to get elected president first, then they can break the rules because in the minds of some the rules no longer apply to presidents.

As examples of similar culinary violations, Lindsay Wise of the Wall Street Journal (Jan. 28) reported that, while the Romney debacle was unfolding, Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Wis.) was seen—this is for real—eating Sour Patch Kids. Nor were violations limited to members of one party or one region of the country. The Journal article also pointed out that Sens. Tammy Baldwin (D-Wis.), Tom Cotton (R-Ark.), Richard Burr (R-N.C.), and Ted Cruz (R-Texas) were seen drinking milk on the Senate floor, although the type (cow, goat, chocolate, strawberry, oat, etc.) was not mentioned, nor was whether they used a glass as required.

Still, the rule of law is essential to our society, and it is important that rules be followed. Otherwise we could end up with a domino effect. First, it is chocolate milk from a bottle. Next, it’s Perrier. And regardless of whether that Perrier water is still or sparkling and in a glass or a bottle, it’s not even American!