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HUMOR: You are Not Ready to Retire to Vermont, if:

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by Colin Tait

  • You don’t realize that Vermont has five seasons: Early winter, hard winter, late winter, mud season and getting ready for winter.
  • You think Vermont and New Hampshire are divided only by the Connecticut River.
  • You think Montpelier is a city in France
  • You think that Vermont highway signs that warn “watch out” for deer, moose or bear are posted by the Vermont Chamber of Commerce
  • You expect to find a Starbucks or McDonald’s within walking distance.
  • You think Vermont Grade A syrup tastes better than Grade B.
  • You think the Green Mountain Boys are a rock band.
  • You think frozen pipes and power outages would be an adventure
  • You think that following behind a manure wagon for five miles on a rural road would be a stress free way to enjoy Vermont’s pastoral scenery.
  • You think you can become a native Vermonter if you live here long enough.

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